We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
