Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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