Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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