Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
