TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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