My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
