spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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