just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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