Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?