Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home