awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys