She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.