But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
