I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray