You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
