I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
