I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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