one might say we're banned from that church
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
