How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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