ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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