Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
