why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
