You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Still dying that you shit outside
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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