I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
