You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
