If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
