I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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