you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
