I'm really into asian looking animals
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
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