make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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