wrigley field is MILF paradise
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?