She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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