So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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