i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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