Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
that's an acceptable place to lick
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
