1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
