could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
