I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am one with the molecules
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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