why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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