I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize