This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
