it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
