Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
why do cheetos always look like penises
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
