just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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