last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
