Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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