Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
