My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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