I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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