All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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