My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
