i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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