he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
