Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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