As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
