pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW IāM MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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