Where is the hickey?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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