i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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