You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
