you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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