Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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