wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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