TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
