party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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