My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you inspire me to be a worse person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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